Haai-advies

In Londen hadden we een boekje gekocht met daarin ‘Alles wat je echt niet hoeft te weten over Australixc3xab’ dus daar zit ik nu steeds een beetje in te bladderen. Dit stukje vonnik leuk.

SHARK ATTACK

To enligsh visitors brought up on beaches filled with nothing more violent than dried-up starfish and sweage, Australian seas can seem a little scary. Sharks, jellyfish, seasnakes…. Its enough to make a paranoid Pom stick to the sand. The daddy of beach paranoia is unquestionably the great white shark (GWS), the biggest and baddest of sharks and the one we fear most, thanks to ‘jaws’ (not to mention those interminable documentaries starring divers in cages and overly earnest voiceover actors). Hopefully, our quick guide to the GWS will help put your fears at rest and help you avoid an uncomfortable and unnecessary attack.

– GWSs are soitary creatures,which is obviously a good thing,as you’d struggle to fight off more than one.

– Not all sharks off Australia are GWSs

– You can identify a GWS by the fact that it will be scary and massive

– GWSs live on a diet of flesh. You will not be able to distract one with a chocolate treat or biscuit

– Femals GWSs are bigger than males. Is this a good thing?

– The GWS can have up to 3000 triangular saw-like teeth located in rows so you wont knock its teeth out even if you’re really hard and have got ‘backup’

– Bite and swallow is the GWS modus operandi when it comes to eating, so at least you wont be chewed up. Every cloud…. etc.

– GWSs attack from below, so if you’re nervous, try swimming along the bottom of the ocean. (For legal reasons, we must advise you to do this only if you are wearing breathing apparatus and have undergone a proper period of training.)

– GWSs have an acute sense of smell and are particularly good at sniffing out blood. For this reason, it is inadvisable to carry calves’ liver or other offal in your swimming costume

– Fun can be had swimming in very shallow water

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Nou hoe cool ben ik dat ik zomaar die Enge Gevaarlijke Grote Australische zee in ben gegaan zonder ook maar na te denken over dit soort beesten! HA!